Laggy
January 1st, 2010, 07:20 PM
Stumbled upon this one also. (http://www.dontevenreply.com/)
Wood Chipper.
Original ad:
670cc commercial wood chipper/shredder for sale. Little bit of rust but works great. Contact Joe - ***********@gmail.com
$4000 OBO
From Me to ***********@gmail.com:
Hi Joe,
Is the wood chipper still for sale?
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
Yes, I still have the wood chipper.
From Me to Joe ******:
I don't have $4000, but what I do have is $200 and a need for use of a wood chipper for about half an hour. Would I be able to rent it from you for $200?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
I don't see why not. What are you using it for?
From Me to Joe ******:
Don't worry about that. So would I be able to swing by and pick it up in my truck, then bring it back about an hour later? I can leave my driver's license as collateral.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
First you need to tell me what the chipper is being used for or you can find someone else.
From Me to Joe ******:
Okay, I'll try to explain my situation. My cat just had a litter of kittens, and I can't get rid of them. I tried giving them to my friends and putting ads online, but nobody wants them. I even tried releasing them into the wild but they keep coming back to my house. I can't stand these little fuckers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture. So I figure my next option is to put them down. I can't afford to have it done professionally, so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way. I looked up your model and saw it has a 6 inch input, which I think will be perfect for me.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
.......................................wow. No.
From Me to Joe ******:
Why not? It is an easy $200 for you. Can't you just pretend I took it to mulch some wood?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
No. You are a sick sick sick sick sick person.
From Me to Joe ******:
I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course). Plus, I thought about my plan some more, and I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean.
Mike
Vegan Housemate
Original ad:
Hey there! My roommate and I are looking for another housemate. We live in a large apartment in Upper Darby. There are two bedrooms and a spacious living area. The rent is $250 a month, which includes cable, internet, electric, and water.
My roommate and I are both vegans and will only live with another vegan. IF YOU AREN'T A VEGAN, YOU NEED NOT APPLY. We are looking for someone who will help with the cooking, in addition to the rent.
If you are a vegan and want to live with two vegans who respect your personal space, please e-mail us. Include some information about yourself, including your source of income.
From Me to ***********@***********.org:
Hey,
I saw your ad, and I can't tell you how happy I was to see that there are fellow vegans looking for a roommate. It is so hard to find someone to live with who respects my way of life. Are you guys still looking for someone to live with?
Mike
From Joanna ******** to Me:
Yes, we still are seeking a third housemate. Can you tell us about yourself?
From Me to Joanna ********:
Well, I am a 24 year old male, and I am currently make a living by being employed. It pays well. Now, as I said earlier, I am a hardcore vegan. I totally respect your lifestyle, but I will occasionally eat a veal burger, maybe two or three times a week. I hope that isn't a big deal. If it is, I can eat it outside, but I will still need to cook it in the kitchen. But besides that, I am easy to get along with. I love watching TV. I hope you guys like CSPAN and late night HBO as much as I do. I also love music, and think I will be a great addition to your apartment.
Mike
From Joanna ******** to Me:
You're not a vegan if you eat veal. Seriously, veal? That is perhaps the single worst thing a vegan can eat. Calves that are raised to become veal are ripped from their mothers at birth so they get anemia. Then they are starved of milk, food, and exercise. They often are put in crates so they cannot move at all; they just stand and suffer until their ultimate death. Veal goes against everything veganism stands for. How you even consider calling yourself a vegan astounds me.
From Me to Joanna ********:
Well thanks for the veal history lesson. My ex used to bitch to me about veal all the time, so I know all about it. Frankly, I think that is why I enjoy veal. Knowing that the calf suffered so much to make himself that much more tender and delicious for me makes it worth every bite. If I didn't eat veal, it would probably expire and be thrown away. Then, the calf would have died in vein. You wouldn't want that, would you. Seriously, veal isn't that bad. They give the calf a nice safe home to live in. Would you rather they just let the calf just be let loose out in the wild? Then, it would probably be killed by a lion or something. By supporting veal, you are supporting the safe life of cows everywhere.
Seeing as how you got all uppity about the veal, I guess I should tell you that I own two shotguns and an assault rifle for hunting and will need to store them in the apartment. I didn't think it would be a big deal, but I may as well tell you everything. Don't worry though, both the shotguns are registered and the assault rifle has the serial numbers filed off of it so it doesn't have to be registered.
From Joanna ******** to Me:
Don't worry, you don't need to tell me anything else because you aren't going to live with us. I highly doubt there is anything about your life that even makes you close to being a vegan. You're argument sounds like something a twelve-year-old would say. You're clearly just claiming to be vegan to live in a cheap apartment. If you really think you are vegan, think again. Vegans don't hunt, idiot.
From Me to Joanna ********:
C'mon, it isn't like I'm eating the animals after I kill them. I just kill them because I hate deer. I can't tell you how many times I've stepped in deer shit - they shit everywhere. They are worse than old people. One time my little brother ate some deer shit because he thought it was beans. We had to take him to the hospital to get him tested for Lyme disease. I'm just killing deer to make Pennsylvania a better, safer place for children. I'm not eating them, so relax. I still don't eat chicken or burgers or any of that shit. You are really picky about the vegans that you want to live with. So when is the lease for your place up? I'm looking for a place to live for about five or six months, and the sooner I can move in, the better.
From Joanna ******** to Me:
YOU'RE NOT A VEGAN!
From Joanna ******** to Me:
Not eating certain kinds of meat doesn't make you a vegan. Veganism is a lifestyle which prohibits using any kind of animal product, be it food, clothes, or anything else. Hunting is absolutely unacceptable and your reasons for hunting are ridiculous. You won't be living at my apartment so give it up.
From Me to Joanna ********:
Wow, I never thought I would find someone as pretentious as Bono, but you take the cake. Next time I bite into a savory beef brisket, I'll think of you.
Christmas Dinner
Original ad:
we need profesional catering for our christmas day dinner party. must have experence catering. SERIOUS RESPONSES ONLY
From Me to ************@*********.org:
Hello,
I am writing in response to your ad looking for a caterer for your Christmas dinner party. I am a freelance chef with a lot of catering experience. I was the top chef at the world renowned Restauran de Bon Foodeux for over five years. If you are still looking for a caterer, let me know.
Thanks,
Michael
From Brian ******* to Me:
michael thank you for responding. what are your rates? we are expeting about twenty people at are dinner party so will need enough food for all of them. can you supply the food and we reembirse you? also do you have a menu of mealss you cook for us to choose from?
From Me to Brian *******:
Brian,
Supplying the food will not be a problem. I have a wide variety of exquisite dishes for you to choose from, which I will list below. My rates are per person and it depends on the meal, but generally ranges from $20-$40 per person. Here are the meals I typically offer:
La Nouille du Triomphe
A meal of pure bliss and flavor - a delicious plate of ramen noodles boiled in the purest of water. Noodles can be flavored with either chicken or beef seasoning.
Le Repas du Fromage Délicieux
A mouthwatering bowl of easy mac cooked to perfection in a microwave. Served with a side of peanut M&Ms.
Le Repas de la Faim de Grande Personne
A delectably and savory microwaved TV dinner. The dish comes with two pieces of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, freshly grown vegetables and a satisfying brownie that is heated to absolute perfection.
Le Sandwich Rouge
A truly phenominal sandwich consisting of ketchup spread over a carefully microwaved piece of bread, and then topped with another piece of bread. Comes with a side of mayonnaise for dipping.
Dessert
Le Plat du Lait et de la Céréale
A satisfying end to your meal, this dessert consists of a bowl of fruit loops served with either skim or 2% milk. Milk can be substituted with water for those on a diet.
La Pâtisserie Bourrée
Individually wrapped twinkies that have been microwaved to sheer delight.
Let me know which meals you are interested in, and I can give you a quote on how much everything will cost.
Thank you,
Michael
From Brian ******* to Me:
what the fuck you actully cater that shit to people ? yea im gonna serve easy mac and twinkies for christmas dinner are you fuckin kidding me. my son in college could make that shit!
From Me to Brian *******:
Brian,
The twinkes aren't for everyone. I understand if you are on a diet, but for me, nothing celebrates the birth of Jesus like a twinkie and some good easy mac. If you aren't interested in that meal, would you consider any of my other options? My personal favorite is Le Sandwich Rouge. That is also very affordable. For twenty people, it would probably cost you about $400.
Michael
From Brian ******* to Me:
cut the bullshit fancy french names and call it a goddamn gross ass ketchup sanwich
From Me to Brian *******:
Brian,
I am personally offended that you are insulting my masterpiece meals. These are perfected family recipes that have been passed down for generations of chefs in my family. Cooking is my art, and for you to insult me without even trying my work is just plain rude.
Michael
Barely Legal Little League
Original ad:
We are a little league team looking for a sponsor for the upcoming season. Email if you are interested in helping out. Thanks!
From Me to ********@***********.org
Good afternoon,
I came across your ad looking for a sponsor for your little league team. I am interested if you still need one. Let me know, and we can discuss the details.
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Hey Mike,
My name is Joe. I have been the coach of this team and greatly appreciate the offer. We still do need a sponsor and I would like to hear what you have to offer. The league will not start up again until mid-April so we will have some time. Let me know what you were thinking for sponsorship, you can email or call me anytime at (***)***-****
Thanks,
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
Joe,
I am glad to hear you are still interested. I would like to have my company name on your team's uniform and fence sign. How much would it cost to do this?
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Hi Mike,
The cost to fully sponsor our team would be $800. It would cover ordering the jerseys and equipment. At the end of the season you will be recognized at our ceremony and will receive a framed photo of the team and your own uniform. What is your company's name and do you have a website?
Thanks,
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
That sounds reasonable Joe. I am the founder of an adult film company called BarelyLegalSuperSluts. We specialize in 18+ amateur pornography and I would like to get our name out there. We plan on lanuching our site around April, so I think the timing would be perfect with your league. I can forward you our logo and we will discuss designs for the uniforms.
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Mike,
Do you realize this sponsorship is for a little league team?
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
Yes, you told me that. I think it is great that I'll be able to help kids enjoy America's greatest pastime.
From Joe ********* to Me:
and you honestly expect a bunch of kids to be sporting a jersey that says Barely Legal Super Sluts?
From Me to Joe *********:
Is it too long to fit on the jersey? We could just call them the Super Sluts for short as long as the sign on the field included the link to our website.
From Joe ********* to Me:
No that isn't the problem. This team is for kids and we can't have them wearing shirts that say Super Sluts on them. It is highly offensive and the league most likely wouldn't even allow it.
From Me to Joe *********:
How about we call them the Barely Legal Little Leaguers? I would include a free copy of our Super Sluts Slurping Loads DVD for every parent that attends the game. The DVD features over 3 hours of sluts with hilarious outtakes and alternate endings. I could even have a few of our stars come out and mud wrestle during the 7th inning stretch. I think it could pull in a lot more of an audience for your little league.
From Joe ********* to Me:
No! Thats even worse! Look Mike I appreciate you trying to help our team out but this is absolutely the wrong place to be advertising your porn. If you would still like to contribute you can but we cannot have your company name associated with our team.
From Me to Joe *********:
If this is how you treat every sponsor that wants to help your team out, you will never get any money. Sooner or later you are going to have to whore yourself out to someone, which is a valuable lesson learned in my Big Sluts: Big Loads DVD. I could give that one out to the parents instead, due to the educational value.
From Joe ********* to Me:
You just dont quit do you? Aint happening so go to hell!
Racist Microwave Buyer
Original ad:
WANTED - Microwave
I am looking for a used microwave. WHITE ONLY
From Me to *********@************.org:
I have a LG microwave that I want to sell for $30. I am aware that your ad said whites only, but I am an African American. I sincerly hope that this won't be a problem for you, and we can put race issues aside and just do business.
Thank you,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I am so sorry that you misread my ad. I meant the microwave should be white, because it would match my kitchen.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
Oh, so because I am black, you think that I can't read? It really is amazing that the world we live in is still so racist. I'm sorry, but your insults have left me feeling sick. I don't think I can sell my microwave to a bigot.
Sincerely offended,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't read. I'm not racist. If you read my whole email you would see that the ad was looking for a white microwave, not a white person. I changed the ad to avoid any confusion.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
So now you think that because I am black, I am too lazy to read your whole e-mails. Your racism is overwhelming. You will never get my microwave from me. I will, however, sell you a burning cross for your next klan meeting. Does $20 for the cross sound fair?
From Amy ****** to Me:
I can't write anything without you being offended! I give up!
From Me to Amy ******:
So you don't want the microwave?
From Amy ****** to Me:
Will you still sell it to me?
From Me to Amy ******:
I would never sell anything to a racist.
From Amy ****** to Me:
Ugh I'm done with you.
Hope you enjoy them as much as I did!
-Laggy
Wood Chipper.
Original ad:
670cc commercial wood chipper/shredder for sale. Little bit of rust but works great. Contact Joe - ***********@gmail.com
$4000 OBO
From Me to ***********@gmail.com:
Hi Joe,
Is the wood chipper still for sale?
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
Yes, I still have the wood chipper.
From Me to Joe ******:
I don't have $4000, but what I do have is $200 and a need for use of a wood chipper for about half an hour. Would I be able to rent it from you for $200?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
I don't see why not. What are you using it for?
From Me to Joe ******:
Don't worry about that. So would I be able to swing by and pick it up in my truck, then bring it back about an hour later? I can leave my driver's license as collateral.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
First you need to tell me what the chipper is being used for or you can find someone else.
From Me to Joe ******:
Okay, I'll try to explain my situation. My cat just had a litter of kittens, and I can't get rid of them. I tried giving them to my friends and putting ads online, but nobody wants them. I even tried releasing them into the wild but they keep coming back to my house. I can't stand these little fuckers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture. So I figure my next option is to put them down. I can't afford to have it done professionally, so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way. I looked up your model and saw it has a 6 inch input, which I think will be perfect for me.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
.......................................wow. No.
From Me to Joe ******:
Why not? It is an easy $200 for you. Can't you just pretend I took it to mulch some wood?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
No. You are a sick sick sick sick sick person.
From Me to Joe ******:
I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course). Plus, I thought about my plan some more, and I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean.
Mike
Vegan Housemate
Original ad:
Hey there! My roommate and I are looking for another housemate. We live in a large apartment in Upper Darby. There are two bedrooms and a spacious living area. The rent is $250 a month, which includes cable, internet, electric, and water.
My roommate and I are both vegans and will only live with another vegan. IF YOU AREN'T A VEGAN, YOU NEED NOT APPLY. We are looking for someone who will help with the cooking, in addition to the rent.
If you are a vegan and want to live with two vegans who respect your personal space, please e-mail us. Include some information about yourself, including your source of income.
From Me to ***********@***********.org:
Hey,
I saw your ad, and I can't tell you how happy I was to see that there are fellow vegans looking for a roommate. It is so hard to find someone to live with who respects my way of life. Are you guys still looking for someone to live with?
Mike
From Joanna ******** to Me:
Yes, we still are seeking a third housemate. Can you tell us about yourself?
From Me to Joanna ********:
Well, I am a 24 year old male, and I am currently make a living by being employed. It pays well. Now, as I said earlier, I am a hardcore vegan. I totally respect your lifestyle, but I will occasionally eat a veal burger, maybe two or three times a week. I hope that isn't a big deal. If it is, I can eat it outside, but I will still need to cook it in the kitchen. But besides that, I am easy to get along with. I love watching TV. I hope you guys like CSPAN and late night HBO as much as I do. I also love music, and think I will be a great addition to your apartment.
Mike
From Joanna ******** to Me:
You're not a vegan if you eat veal. Seriously, veal? That is perhaps the single worst thing a vegan can eat. Calves that are raised to become veal are ripped from their mothers at birth so they get anemia. Then they are starved of milk, food, and exercise. They often are put in crates so they cannot move at all; they just stand and suffer until their ultimate death. Veal goes against everything veganism stands for. How you even consider calling yourself a vegan astounds me.
From Me to Joanna ********:
Well thanks for the veal history lesson. My ex used to bitch to me about veal all the time, so I know all about it. Frankly, I think that is why I enjoy veal. Knowing that the calf suffered so much to make himself that much more tender and delicious for me makes it worth every bite. If I didn't eat veal, it would probably expire and be thrown away. Then, the calf would have died in vein. You wouldn't want that, would you. Seriously, veal isn't that bad. They give the calf a nice safe home to live in. Would you rather they just let the calf just be let loose out in the wild? Then, it would probably be killed by a lion or something. By supporting veal, you are supporting the safe life of cows everywhere.
Seeing as how you got all uppity about the veal, I guess I should tell you that I own two shotguns and an assault rifle for hunting and will need to store them in the apartment. I didn't think it would be a big deal, but I may as well tell you everything. Don't worry though, both the shotguns are registered and the assault rifle has the serial numbers filed off of it so it doesn't have to be registered.
From Joanna ******** to Me:
Don't worry, you don't need to tell me anything else because you aren't going to live with us. I highly doubt there is anything about your life that even makes you close to being a vegan. You're argument sounds like something a twelve-year-old would say. You're clearly just claiming to be vegan to live in a cheap apartment. If you really think you are vegan, think again. Vegans don't hunt, idiot.
From Me to Joanna ********:
C'mon, it isn't like I'm eating the animals after I kill them. I just kill them because I hate deer. I can't tell you how many times I've stepped in deer shit - they shit everywhere. They are worse than old people. One time my little brother ate some deer shit because he thought it was beans. We had to take him to the hospital to get him tested for Lyme disease. I'm just killing deer to make Pennsylvania a better, safer place for children. I'm not eating them, so relax. I still don't eat chicken or burgers or any of that shit. You are really picky about the vegans that you want to live with. So when is the lease for your place up? I'm looking for a place to live for about five or six months, and the sooner I can move in, the better.
From Joanna ******** to Me:
YOU'RE NOT A VEGAN!
From Joanna ******** to Me:
Not eating certain kinds of meat doesn't make you a vegan. Veganism is a lifestyle which prohibits using any kind of animal product, be it food, clothes, or anything else. Hunting is absolutely unacceptable and your reasons for hunting are ridiculous. You won't be living at my apartment so give it up.
From Me to Joanna ********:
Wow, I never thought I would find someone as pretentious as Bono, but you take the cake. Next time I bite into a savory beef brisket, I'll think of you.
Christmas Dinner
Original ad:
we need profesional catering for our christmas day dinner party. must have experence catering. SERIOUS RESPONSES ONLY
From Me to ************@*********.org:
Hello,
I am writing in response to your ad looking for a caterer for your Christmas dinner party. I am a freelance chef with a lot of catering experience. I was the top chef at the world renowned Restauran de Bon Foodeux for over five years. If you are still looking for a caterer, let me know.
Thanks,
Michael
From Brian ******* to Me:
michael thank you for responding. what are your rates? we are expeting about twenty people at are dinner party so will need enough food for all of them. can you supply the food and we reembirse you? also do you have a menu of mealss you cook for us to choose from?
From Me to Brian *******:
Brian,
Supplying the food will not be a problem. I have a wide variety of exquisite dishes for you to choose from, which I will list below. My rates are per person and it depends on the meal, but generally ranges from $20-$40 per person. Here are the meals I typically offer:
La Nouille du Triomphe
A meal of pure bliss and flavor - a delicious plate of ramen noodles boiled in the purest of water. Noodles can be flavored with either chicken or beef seasoning.
Le Repas du Fromage Délicieux
A mouthwatering bowl of easy mac cooked to perfection in a microwave. Served with a side of peanut M&Ms.
Le Repas de la Faim de Grande Personne
A delectably and savory microwaved TV dinner. The dish comes with two pieces of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, freshly grown vegetables and a satisfying brownie that is heated to absolute perfection.
Le Sandwich Rouge
A truly phenominal sandwich consisting of ketchup spread over a carefully microwaved piece of bread, and then topped with another piece of bread. Comes with a side of mayonnaise for dipping.
Dessert
Le Plat du Lait et de la Céréale
A satisfying end to your meal, this dessert consists of a bowl of fruit loops served with either skim or 2% milk. Milk can be substituted with water for those on a diet.
La Pâtisserie Bourrée
Individually wrapped twinkies that have been microwaved to sheer delight.
Let me know which meals you are interested in, and I can give you a quote on how much everything will cost.
Thank you,
Michael
From Brian ******* to Me:
what the fuck you actully cater that shit to people ? yea im gonna serve easy mac and twinkies for christmas dinner are you fuckin kidding me. my son in college could make that shit!
From Me to Brian *******:
Brian,
The twinkes aren't for everyone. I understand if you are on a diet, but for me, nothing celebrates the birth of Jesus like a twinkie and some good easy mac. If you aren't interested in that meal, would you consider any of my other options? My personal favorite is Le Sandwich Rouge. That is also very affordable. For twenty people, it would probably cost you about $400.
Michael
From Brian ******* to Me:
cut the bullshit fancy french names and call it a goddamn gross ass ketchup sanwich
From Me to Brian *******:
Brian,
I am personally offended that you are insulting my masterpiece meals. These are perfected family recipes that have been passed down for generations of chefs in my family. Cooking is my art, and for you to insult me without even trying my work is just plain rude.
Michael
Barely Legal Little League
Original ad:
We are a little league team looking for a sponsor for the upcoming season. Email if you are interested in helping out. Thanks!
From Me to ********@***********.org
Good afternoon,
I came across your ad looking for a sponsor for your little league team. I am interested if you still need one. Let me know, and we can discuss the details.
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Hey Mike,
My name is Joe. I have been the coach of this team and greatly appreciate the offer. We still do need a sponsor and I would like to hear what you have to offer. The league will not start up again until mid-April so we will have some time. Let me know what you were thinking for sponsorship, you can email or call me anytime at (***)***-****
Thanks,
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
Joe,
I am glad to hear you are still interested. I would like to have my company name on your team's uniform and fence sign. How much would it cost to do this?
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Hi Mike,
The cost to fully sponsor our team would be $800. It would cover ordering the jerseys and equipment. At the end of the season you will be recognized at our ceremony and will receive a framed photo of the team and your own uniform. What is your company's name and do you have a website?
Thanks,
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
That sounds reasonable Joe. I am the founder of an adult film company called BarelyLegalSuperSluts. We specialize in 18+ amateur pornography and I would like to get our name out there. We plan on lanuching our site around April, so I think the timing would be perfect with your league. I can forward you our logo and we will discuss designs for the uniforms.
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Mike,
Do you realize this sponsorship is for a little league team?
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
Yes, you told me that. I think it is great that I'll be able to help kids enjoy America's greatest pastime.
From Joe ********* to Me:
and you honestly expect a bunch of kids to be sporting a jersey that says Barely Legal Super Sluts?
From Me to Joe *********:
Is it too long to fit on the jersey? We could just call them the Super Sluts for short as long as the sign on the field included the link to our website.
From Joe ********* to Me:
No that isn't the problem. This team is for kids and we can't have them wearing shirts that say Super Sluts on them. It is highly offensive and the league most likely wouldn't even allow it.
From Me to Joe *********:
How about we call them the Barely Legal Little Leaguers? I would include a free copy of our Super Sluts Slurping Loads DVD for every parent that attends the game. The DVD features over 3 hours of sluts with hilarious outtakes and alternate endings. I could even have a few of our stars come out and mud wrestle during the 7th inning stretch. I think it could pull in a lot more of an audience for your little league.
From Joe ********* to Me:
No! Thats even worse! Look Mike I appreciate you trying to help our team out but this is absolutely the wrong place to be advertising your porn. If you would still like to contribute you can but we cannot have your company name associated with our team.
From Me to Joe *********:
If this is how you treat every sponsor that wants to help your team out, you will never get any money. Sooner or later you are going to have to whore yourself out to someone, which is a valuable lesson learned in my Big Sluts: Big Loads DVD. I could give that one out to the parents instead, due to the educational value.
From Joe ********* to Me:
You just dont quit do you? Aint happening so go to hell!
Racist Microwave Buyer
Original ad:
WANTED - Microwave
I am looking for a used microwave. WHITE ONLY
From Me to *********@************.org:
I have a LG microwave that I want to sell for $30. I am aware that your ad said whites only, but I am an African American. I sincerly hope that this won't be a problem for you, and we can put race issues aside and just do business.
Thank you,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I am so sorry that you misread my ad. I meant the microwave should be white, because it would match my kitchen.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
Oh, so because I am black, you think that I can't read? It really is amazing that the world we live in is still so racist. I'm sorry, but your insults have left me feeling sick. I don't think I can sell my microwave to a bigot.
Sincerely offended,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't read. I'm not racist. If you read my whole email you would see that the ad was looking for a white microwave, not a white person. I changed the ad to avoid any confusion.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
So now you think that because I am black, I am too lazy to read your whole e-mails. Your racism is overwhelming. You will never get my microwave from me. I will, however, sell you a burning cross for your next klan meeting. Does $20 for the cross sound fair?
From Amy ****** to Me:
I can't write anything without you being offended! I give up!
From Me to Amy ******:
So you don't want the microwave?
From Amy ****** to Me:
Will you still sell it to me?
From Me to Amy ******:
I would never sell anything to a racist.
From Amy ****** to Me:
Ugh I'm done with you.
Hope you enjoy them as much as I did!
-Laggy